The Ignorance is Becoming Painful

This is my post from Thursday over at Lefty Pop.  I write there twice a week (Monday at 9 am & Thursday at 5 pm).  You should go visit and check out some of the other writes that form our funky group.  Good stuff.

 

It’s been a doozy folks. It seems like there is never a shortage of stupid in the world. This week I bring you three thoughts guaranteed to make your brain cells want to curl up and die. Sadly, you can’t make this shit up.  Get ready to facepalm your way through the sheer ignorance.

“So family government precedes civil government and you watch that as colonists came to America, they voted by families. And you have to remember back then, husband and wife, I mean the two were considered one. That is the biblical precept… That is a family, that is voting. And so the head of the family is traditionally considered to be the husband and even biblically still continues to be so.”

The owner of this little gem is none other than David Barton. Barton is the founder of Wallbuilders, an organization that seeks to destroy the separation of church of state. He’s also a self-professed “historian” and is besties with Glenn Beck. I know, shocker. Let me get my ass off of the web and back in the kitchen. I’m sure my man needs a sandwich. Facepalm.

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“I think it’s a good idea to designate the mammoth as the state fossil, I don’t have a problem with that. I just felt like it’d be a good thing to acknowledge the creator of the fossils.”

This intelligent dialogue belongs to Senator Kevin Bryant (R), SC. It’s a proposed change to two bills seeking to make the SC state fossil the Columbian Mammoth. Because clearly anything written into law must give a nod to creationism. Why is religion entering into the naming of a state fossil? Because Senator Mike Fair (R) blocked the bill. Fair is the guy who also blocked funding for a rape crisis center, thinks climate change is a ploy, and blocked evolution from the state science standards saying,

 “I don’t have a problem with teaching theories. I don’t think it should be taught as fact.”

Because science without Jesus is just….science. Sorry Olivia McConnel (the eight year-old girl who proposed the bill), no state fossil for you. Now, go play house and quit worrying your pretty little self with things like knowledge. Your husband will take care of all of that.  Facepalm.

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“Democrats bragging about the number of mandatory sign ups for Obamacare is like Germans bragging about the number of manditory sign ups for ‘train rides’ for Jews in the 40s.”

Yes, TN Senator Stacey Campfield (R) spelled the word mandatory incorrectly AND compared Obamacare to the Holocaust. Short of oh, I don’t know, another actual instance of genocide, Holocaust comparisons are off limits. Good thing this follow-up statement made things all better.

“I like ice cream, mom, apple pie and puppies. This message has been approved by my campaign staff.”

All better, carry on Holocaust survivors.  Nothing to see here. Facepalm.

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Five for Friday: 5 SnOMG Observations from Atlanta

It’s been a week dear readers!  No doubt you’ve seen my city all over the national news.  Good stuff.

Just in case you didn’t hear it on the news and don’t live here, here’s what happened.  Forecast predicts we’ll be missed by this snow storm, whew.  NWS says oops, nope, you’re gonna get hit (Monday night).  Schools ignore this still latching on to the hope it won’t be “that bad” (and still embarrassed for cancelling two weeks prior for it being “really cold”) and schools stay open.  Since the schools are open (and they would definitely be closed if something were really going to happen, right?), everyone goes to work.  At 9 am, the powers that be decide, hey, perhaps we should start treating the road now.  Then, around lunch the schools say, go home kiddos.  Kids are getting released, time to close down shop says every employer in the city all at once.  Millions jump on the icy roads all at once and this happens:

light-snow-shuts-down-small-airports-and-causes-hundreds-of-crashes-in-atlantaap_winter_accidents_kb_140129_16x9_992 sstorm

Since my week has been all about snow, ice, and Atlanta’s response (or lack thereof)  to both, I thought I’d dedicate my Five for Friday to what’s been called a number of cutesy, clever names:  snOMG, Atlantartica, Hothlanta, etc.  Here are five observations made over the past several days.  I flirted with calling these “lessons”, but let’s be honest, no one is really going to learn anything from this.  That would be asking entirely too much.

Northerners can be real pricks….when it comes to snow.

We get it.  You get a lot of snow.  You drive in it.  You’re total bad-asses, really.  You honestly should get some sort of prize for toughing that shit out everyday and you’re a bit bitter that no one’s acknowledged the 4 feet of snow in your front yard, yet when we get a few inches we totally steal the lime light.  How rude!  Here’s the thing, cold weather effin sucks.  I hate it so very much.  So kudos to you for enduring.  I get why you’re so bitter.  I would be too if I had to deal with grey skies, snow, and below freezing temps every day.  I was ready to snap in a few hours.  You bastards are made of stone cold steel and toughness.

But (of course one was coming), please realize that we’re not equipped to handle this shit.  Our roads have zero pretreatment, everything turns to ice, and yes, we can’t drive in it.  Chaos ensues.  It’s okay to laugh, it’s ridiculous, but you don’t have to be so crass about it.  You’re only further perpetuating the northern stereotype of being, well, northern.  Seriously though, y’all are some tough folks if toughness is measured by the amount of cold one can endure.

Since not many people are truly from Atlanta, I would have thought our snow driving skills (because you know, untreated roads can be perfectly navigated if you know how) would have been a lot better.  Aren’t we a city full of New Yorkers, New Englanders, etc.?

Our lack of public transportation is the real humiliation.

We’re a huge city, yet we refuse to embrace the basic necessities that big cities MUST have.  The snow didn’t make our traffic suck.  It sucks every single day.  It sucks in the sun.  It sucks (doubly) in the rain.  It sucks almost every hour (weekends included).  It’s a problem that we’ve all just chalked up to the price of living in Atlanta.  But we really shouldn’t be so complacent.  We simply have to get over our complete dependence on the highways and cars.  Let’s get moving on bringing MARTA to the burbs.  Let’s get over this ridiculous fear of public transit bringing in a “bad element” (ie. minority or low income…the horror) to our neighborhoods.  Let’s quit being absurd.

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SnOMG or regular day?  Could be either.

Our politicians act like politicians.

Are we really surprised that the lack of preparation and then slow response after someone finally realized a screw up had been made garnered no real apology.  These guys are thinking about how to spin it all in the best interest of their careers,  careers spent spinning and campaigning and occasionally doing some actual work.  Keep holding your breath for a sincere apology as the buck continues to be passed.

I’ll fight my strong desire to launch into a rant about term limits and the entire electoral process.  That really doesn’t belong on this snow post does it?

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I feel just horrible.  Really, I do.

People are always awesome in a crisis.

Hurricanes, floods, snow “storms”, they all really bring out the best in folks.  People helping people, it really warms your heart.  But watch how quickly we get back to our normal selves now that the snow is thawing.  No more hellos, no more going out of our way to help.  Back to our eyes on our phones and our ear buds in.  It’s a shame we can’t bottle this crisis humanity and tap into it every day.

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Snow sucks.

It all comes down to that.  Yes, I’ll admit it’s pretty to look at from inside, but at the end of the day, I’ll pass.  Going outside takes entirely too much effort.  Layers of clothing and practical, warm footwear must be sported.  You can’t simply crank your car up and leave, there’s this defrost feature in your car that will clear your windshield of frost in a mere 15 minutes!  Your floors will be filthy from all the snow that gets stuck on your shoes and then melts by the door.  You bust your ass walking down your driveway.  The list goes on.  I don’t even like the positives people usually attribute to snow:  Skiing- I suck at it.  Snow ball fights- Too cold on my hands.  Snow Angels- No.

Give me a beach and some heat.  The end.

How was your snow day(s)?  Live up north and wanna poke fun a bit more?  Leave me a comment or two.

Stay positive & love your life!

-Melissa

Today:

Listening to:  Hey Champ – Artificial Man

Random fact:  The only true fun I’ve ever had in the snow was sledding with my cousins in Ohio as a kid.

Five for Friday: 5 Reasons Why the Government Shut Down is Like a Bad Marriage

So here I go again, dipping ever so slightly into the political pool.  Don’t worry though, I’m gonna try to keep it light.  After all, if I stay completely serious in the brink of all of this absurdity, it’d either stay so angry I’d be intolerable or I’d just end up defeated in the fetal position.

Here’s my take on the entire government shutdown:   It’s completely bratty and immature.  On top of that, it’s embarrassing.  It’s enough to make you want to scream, “Get your shit together and move on!”   I really think I’ve found probably the best analogy to explain this whole ordeal:

5 Reasons Why the Government Shut Down is Like a Bad Marriage

For illustrative purposes, let’s assign the role of the democrat to the female and the role of the republican to the male…and GO!

Number 5- Lack of Respect in the Relationship

When one side constantly feels dismissed, rejected, or condescended to (and the other side doesn’t see it or refuses to talk through it) you’re in a bad place.  A healthy marriage has balance.  You are looking out for your own needs while making sure your partner has his needs met as well.  It’s a dance that requires constant communication.

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Number 4- Fighting Over Money

One of the main things couples fight over is money.  Who is making it?  Who is spending it? Is there enough?

Hint, hint, there’s never enough

Both sides think their spending is completely justified and reasonable.  Generally one side is spending with wild abandon and only later are the massive credit card debts considered fought over.

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Number 3- You Don’t Want the Same Things

A ship can’t make forward progress if both sides are moving in the opposite direction.  Sure you might come together to really “work” on it sometimes, but even then you can’t agree on who should read the map and who should drive.  Last time you let her drive, you end up in the ditch.  And he constantly gets lost because he refuses to read road signs or spot detours.  In the end, you’re just not a team.  A healthy partnership works together on everything from the mundane to the major.  Where you ever a team?  They say opposites attract, but I don’t think the saying continues with, and are perfect for long term, solid, successful relationships.

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“For God’s sake, how do you not know which direction is north?”

Number2- Neither Side Will Admit They’re Wrong

9 times out of 10, both sides are at fault.  But instead of acknowledging and correcting your screw-ups and shortcomings, you’d rather rally your troops behind you and be right!  You bitch to your friends about just how awful your partner is.  They respond with a reassuring:  “Seriously, he’s such a jerk.”  “Oh that’s just like a man.”  “You’re so right.”  You’re preaching to the choir, and guess what, so is he.  But I’ll let you in on a little secret…..

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Number 1-  Your Friends Are Sick of Hearing About It

Yeah, you’re our home girl and we’ve always had your back, but lately, you’ve gotten ridiculous and it’s pretty annoying.  Truth be told, we kinda see that maybe he’s a little right too.  Maybe you’re a bit too sensitive and naggy.  When we suggest this you just continue to lash out with insults and proof of his inadequacies.  Okay, we get it; you’ll never work it out.  Cool, well we’re just gonna have to go find some more level headed friends to support.  You’ve just seemed more and more unbalanced lately.

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“If she mentions him one more time…..”

Honorable Mentions-

Loyalty is Unclear:  You said you’d honor, love, and cherish, but once you moved in, you changed your story.  There’s something to be said about promises kept and living honorably.

Refusing to Try:  You’d rather just walk out the door anytime you don’t see eye-to-eye.  The silent treatment never works.

Here’s the thing, no one is really going to come out on top.  Unfortunately, at the end of the day,  the one way the government is not like a bad marriage is that we can’t just end it with a few tears, hurt feelings, and a quicky divorce. Nope we’re stuck in this living hell.  In this analogy I suppose we citizens are the children.  We rely on our parents (as screwed up as they may be) to keep us safe, sound, and secure.  Sure we might hear them bicker from time to time, but we know they really have only our best interest in mind.  Right?

Though the government may frustrate us, it’s necessary.  We need “parents” to provide structure and order.  It’s nice to think someone is looking out for us and can pick us up should we ever fall and get us back on our feet.  But they also need to be willing to push us out of the nest and let us learn to work and succeed on our own.    It’s not in our best interest to pick mom or dad.  We need both forces for this to work out for the best.  Mom is too giving and just wants everyone to be happy.  Dad is too harsh and thinks it’s every man for himself.  The truth is somewhere in the middle.

Unlike this analogy, we really aren’t the kids. We are a part of this screwed up relationship and we have a responsibility to help fix it.   Let your actions and support be dictated by such.  Vote: both literally and with your dollars and choices.

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Stay positive & love your life!

-Melissa

Today:

Listening to: Moon Taxi – Hideaway

Eating:  Some gross veggie little pie thing from Costco.  I bought a pack of 10 and they’re disgusting.  I’m down to one left.  I refuse to have wasted my money.

Drinking:  H2O

Random fact:  As you know, I love beer. So this aspect of the shut down may just hit home:

Shutdown closes tap on new beers

The prolonged closure of federal offices has given some people a reason to cry in the beer. An obscure arm of the Treasury Department has stopped approving new brews. All beers that get bottled or canned that are sold across state lines must get approval by the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau, better known as the TTB. The agency signs off on the label, as well as the recipe if it uses non-traditional ingredients. Brewery taxes, however, are being collected during the shutdown.