The Original Catfish

Here’s the final of my reposts from my old writing home, Lefty Pop.  So long Lefty Pop.  I bid you one final adieu! 

Ahh Catfish, I just can’t quit you.  I feel the need to place myself in the ultimate voyeur seat (my couch) and watch weekly as person after person is shocked that people pretend to be someone other than themselves on the the internet.   It’s like watching a wreck in slow motion, you know it’s going to end badly and it’s going to be painful to watch, but you just can’t look away.

Catfish airs weekly on MTV and is the brainchild of Nev Schulman.  Nev originally presented his first story of catfishing (he was the victim) in his hit documentary of the same title.  Each week we get a chance to peer in the lives of a “couple” existing almost entirely via text messages and IM.  Sometimes there is an occasional phone call (gasp, what primitive technology), but very seldom is there any face-to-face, real time correspondence (via Skype or Facetime).  So, inevitably what you end up with is one authentic person and one catfish.  Catfish recently made it into the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and is defined as:  a person who sets up a false social networking profile for deceptive purposes.

But the concept of catfishing has been around a lot longer than Facebook, Twitter, or even Myspace.  The Bible is full of deception, especially the female variety.  Shakespeare was using the power of deception back in the 1500s (see Much Ado About Nothing). And modern cinema loves this story line.  Check out some of my favorite fictional characters who started relationships hiding behind a facade.

 

The Truth About Cats and Dogs (1996)

The not so conventionally beautiful, yet quite smart, Abby (Janeane Garofalo) convinces the very pretty, but not bright, Noelle (Uma Thurman) to pretend to be her to win the affections of a guy.  Love triangle and high-jinx ensue.  As is the case with most 90s rom-coms, a happy ending full of quirk and nonsense is inevitable.  In this case, a dog shows up at Abby’s work with a bag containing roller skates which she dons and is then taken via dog leash on a ride through the park to her soul mate.

 

cats

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Ted embarrasses himself during a prom pick-up when his junk gets stuck in his zipper and misses out on the girl of his dreams, Mary.  Years later he decides she’s the one that got away and goes after her.  Too bad she has a host of other not so honest suitors.  There’s the PI Ted hired, Healy, who lies, cheats, stalks, and even drugs a dog to be close to Mary.  Then there is the British, disabled Tucker who turns out to be an able-bodied American pizza delivery boy.  And finally there is Dom who exposes Ted’s whole involvement in the messy plot, but then turns out to be Mary’s weirdo ex Woogie who “got weird on her” back in high school and stole all her shoes.  Faced with all these wonderful choices in suitors, Mary chooses Ted.  Shocker, happy ending.

mary

Babe (1995)

“That pig thinks it’s a dog.”  Ultimately Babe the pig’s dog-like skills and sheep herding performances keep him out of the frying pan as he forges a relationship with the farmer.  So, again, happy ending.

 

babe

 

 

And who are your favorite pop culture catfish?

Five for Friday: The 5 Saddest Movies of All Time

Come in really close guys. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Though I can be tough, loud, and obnoxious, I’m actually a HUGE softie.

Seriously, I cry at everything.

TV Shows.

Publix and Hallmark commercials.

Remember the one where they send the old lady across the street a card? Water works!

And don’t even get me started on how much emotional damage Sarah McLaclan and those damn Humane Society dogs have caused me.

Books.

Don’t ever read “Merle’s Door” unless you’re in a cry safe environment and definitely don’t read it at work on your lunch break unless you’re prepared for everyone to think something catastrophic just happened in your life.

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Dear god, I’m almost crying just thinking about it.

And movies. So many movies.

I definitely have my glaring weak spots: animals (guaranteed to make me lose it), old folks, and love lost in the worst of ways (looking at you cancer, accidents, etc.)

So a few days ago when I came home to catch Matt tearing up during his millionth viewing of Forrest Gump, I decided it was time to share a few tears with you guys. I’m not going to give away any plots and endings as I’d like for you to suffer the same pain I did. Here they are,

The 5 Saddest Movies of All Time

Number 5: Babe (1995) & Charlotte’s Web (2006)

Ok, I know these are two different movies, but they both have pigs, are on a farm, and are about loss of family (and finding new family).

Number 4: AI: Artificial Intelligence (2001)

A lot of people hate this movie, but it’s actually one of my favorites. Wanting to be loved is a theme that runs through everyone’s life story. When I made Bee watch this, he cried for nearly an hour after the credits ended. And he actually did wait for the credits to end. I think he was hoping the producers would come on and say, “Just kidding. Here’s the real, much happier ending.”

david_teddy_and_his_mother_from_ai_artificial_intelligence

David and that poor bear Teddy.

Number 3: One Day (2011)

If you think The Notebook is bad, watch this one. It sneaks right up on you. The weekend I watched this for the first time I spent several hours wallowing around in bed thinking about life and what-ifs.

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Number 2: The Help (2011)

Yeah, we all laughed at the “Eat my shit” part. But I spent the other 145 minutes of this movie sobbing. Sobbing, as in a snot bubbles coming out of the nose, chest heaving, eyes burning crying. And that scene when Constantine comes to the door……too much.

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Number 1: Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (2009)

This is a remake of a Japanese movie from 1987 and also a true story (as if it could get any worse). It makes Marley and Me look like the feelgood story of the decade. Damn dogs get me every time.

Hachiko statue

Real Hachiko memorial in Japan.

Honorable Mentions:

My Girl (1991)

Big Fish (2003)

Life of Pi (2012)

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)

I’ll leave you with a scene that still crushes me even after seeing this movie too many times to count:

And this picture of my best friend Jovi. That face would cheer anyone up!

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Stay positive & love your life!

-Melissa

Today:

Listening to: CSS – Faith In Love

Eating: Falafel and lentils

Drinking: H2O

Random fact: My Mom is mildly completely obsessed with Babe.

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