An Open Letter to Broccoli

Yo Broc-daddy,

You’re so chuck full of nutrients it’s scary.  I can steam you in a flash, add a little salt and pepper, and smile as I bite into your delicious crowns.  But seriously, what’s with the smell?  Are you and tuna fish in a battle royale to see who can leave a lingering funk outside the microwave longest?  Did you grow jealous of popcorn’s ability to consign my kitchen to smelling like feet for a solid day?  Cool, thought so.  I do have one small request however, would it be too much to ask if you could just keep your funk contained inside of the Tupperware I tote for lunch?  I’m not so okay with the entire bus thinking I smell like vagabond breath.

Now off I go to heat you up in the office microwave, bwahahahah,

Melissa

 

smellthebroccoli

 

Yes, I did just post an open letter to broccoli.  Sure did.

 

Stay positive & love your life!

-Melissa

 

Today:

Listening to:  Them Crooked Vultures – No One Loves Me & Neither Do I

Eating:  Stinky-ass broccoli, carrots, and tofu scramble.

Random fact:  Tomorrow I will be making my debut on the pop culture & politics website, Leftypop.  You should all flock right over there, bookmark the page, stalk all of the other writers, and wait with bated breath for my article on the CVS cigarette sales cessation to post tomorrow at 9 am.  Go.  Now.

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4 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Broccoli

  1. Hey, I like broccoli.
    Never really noticed the smell though.
    (And I don’t think it can read.)

    Are you enjoying them Crooked Vultures? I picked up their album, but in the end, it didn’t really do anything for me.

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