Five for Friday: 5 SnOMG Observations from Atlanta

It’s been a week dear readers!  No doubt you’ve seen my city all over the national news.  Good stuff.

Just in case you didn’t hear it on the news and don’t live here, here’s what happened.  Forecast predicts we’ll be missed by this snow storm, whew.  NWS says oops, nope, you’re gonna get hit (Monday night).  Schools ignore this still latching on to the hope it won’t be “that bad” (and still embarrassed for cancelling two weeks prior for it being “really cold”) and schools stay open.  Since the schools are open (and they would definitely be closed if something were really going to happen, right?), everyone goes to work.  At 9 am, the powers that be decide, hey, perhaps we should start treating the road now.  Then, around lunch the schools say, go home kiddos.  Kids are getting released, time to close down shop says every employer in the city all at once.  Millions jump on the icy roads all at once and this happens:

light-snow-shuts-down-small-airports-and-causes-hundreds-of-crashes-in-atlantaap_winter_accidents_kb_140129_16x9_992 sstorm

Since my week has been all about snow, ice, and Atlanta’s response (or lack thereof)  to both, I thought I’d dedicate my Five for Friday to what’s been called a number of cutesy, clever names:  snOMG, Atlantartica, Hothlanta, etc.  Here are five observations made over the past several days.  I flirted with calling these “lessons”, but let’s be honest, no one is really going to learn anything from this.  That would be asking entirely too much.

Northerners can be real pricks….when it comes to snow.

We get it.  You get a lot of snow.  You drive in it.  You’re total bad-asses, really.  You honestly should get some sort of prize for toughing that shit out everyday and you’re a bit bitter that no one’s acknowledged the 4 feet of snow in your front yard, yet when we get a few inches we totally steal the lime light.  How rude!  Here’s the thing, cold weather effin sucks.  I hate it so very much.  So kudos to you for enduring.  I get why you’re so bitter.  I would be too if I had to deal with grey skies, snow, and below freezing temps every day.  I was ready to snap in a few hours.  You bastards are made of stone cold steel and toughness.

But (of course one was coming), please realize that we’re not equipped to handle this shit.  Our roads have zero pretreatment, everything turns to ice, and yes, we can’t drive in it.  Chaos ensues.  It’s okay to laugh, it’s ridiculous, but you don’t have to be so crass about it.  You’re only further perpetuating the northern stereotype of being, well, northern.  Seriously though, y’all are some tough folks if toughness is measured by the amount of cold one can endure.

Since not many people are truly from Atlanta, I would have thought our snow driving skills (because you know, untreated roads can be perfectly navigated if you know how) would have been a lot better.  Aren’t we a city full of New Yorkers, New Englanders, etc.?

Our lack of public transportation is the real humiliation.

We’re a huge city, yet we refuse to embrace the basic necessities that big cities MUST have.  The snow didn’t make our traffic suck.  It sucks every single day.  It sucks in the sun.  It sucks (doubly) in the rain.  It sucks almost every hour (weekends included).  It’s a problem that we’ve all just chalked up to the price of living in Atlanta.  But we really shouldn’t be so complacent.  We simply have to get over our complete dependence on the highways and cars.  Let’s get moving on bringing MARTA to the burbs.  Let’s get over this ridiculous fear of public transit bringing in a “bad element” (ie. minority or low income…the horror) to our neighborhoods.  Let’s quit being absurd.

jam

SnOMG or regular day?  Could be either.

Our politicians act like politicians.

Are we really surprised that the lack of preparation and then slow response after someone finally realized a screw up had been made garnered no real apology.  These guys are thinking about how to spin it all in the best interest of their careers,  careers spent spinning and campaigning and occasionally doing some actual work.  Keep holding your breath for a sincere apology as the buck continues to be passed.

I’ll fight my strong desire to launch into a rant about term limits and the entire electoral process.  That really doesn’t belong on this snow post does it?

crossed-fingers-behind-back

I feel just horrible.  Really, I do.

People are always awesome in a crisis.

Hurricanes, floods, snow “storms”, they all really bring out the best in folks.  People helping people, it really warms your heart.  But watch how quickly we get back to our normal selves now that the snow is thawing.  No more hellos, no more going out of our way to help.  Back to our eyes on our phones and our ear buds in.  It’s a shame we can’t bottle this crisis humanity and tap into it every day.

free

Snow sucks.

It all comes down to that.  Yes, I’ll admit it’s pretty to look at from inside, but at the end of the day, I’ll pass.  Going outside takes entirely too much effort.  Layers of clothing and practical, warm footwear must be sported.  You can’t simply crank your car up and leave, there’s this defrost feature in your car that will clear your windshield of frost in a mere 15 minutes!  Your floors will be filthy from all the snow that gets stuck on your shoes and then melts by the door.  You bust your ass walking down your driveway.  The list goes on.  I don’t even like the positives people usually attribute to snow:  Skiing- I suck at it.  Snow ball fights- Too cold on my hands.  Snow Angels- No.

Give me a beach and some heat.  The end.

How was your snow day(s)?  Live up north and wanna poke fun a bit more?  Leave me a comment or two.

Stay positive & love your life!

-Melissa

Today:

Listening to:  Hey Champ – Artificial Man

Random fact:  The only true fun I’ve ever had in the snow was sledding with my cousins in Ohio as a kid.

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12 thoughts on “Five for Friday: 5 SnOMG Observations from Atlanta

  1. I want to reply before my fingers freeze again. 😉

    I actually felt really bad for all of you and I worried < Gah, how I worried about my friends in the area around Atlanta (and Florida too).
    Listen I know that we are used to snow, god knows, we are used to (and sick of snow right now.)
    So I feel your pain and am jealous of your balmy temps most of the year, for sure.

    In the end, I am just glad that you and other people I know from that area are okay, safe and sound, after all of it.

    (Now, please send some WARMTH north…I'm Friggin freezing!!!)

    • Thanks Kir. Notice I said “some”. I’ve had a lot of my northern buddies check-in and show their support, but then I read comments online from othersand they’re full of venom. Haha, I just chalk it up to being angry due to the cold. I hate it with a passion.

      We should be up to 60 tomorrow, so I’ll send some warmth your way. 🙂

      • Well here’s a little secret..we don’t know how to drive in snow up here either..”Some of us” because it took us 4 hours to go an hour’s worth of way last week because of them. (Ie they should shut their pie holes!) Snow is snow and dangerous no matter where you’re driving in it.

        I’ll take a balmy 60…it’s really cold in PA/NJ/NYC. 😉

      • 🙂

  2. Rapid Transit extension? I know about that. Google for “Edinburgh Trams” and find what I know.

    From over here, I know a bit about driving in snow: and in those places where we get much of it, we learn a bit how to drive in snow, then we skid helplessly sideways twenty yards into the parked car. Like everyone else.

    And- even in Canadian cities, there will be a day or two where the snow is too great to get across town, because the preparations cope with most snow, just not the worst snow.

    • Ugh, that tram sounds like it’s be a blast to deal with! You guys must be furious.

      Our biggest issue here is just what I said, people are scared that the poor people and minorities will invade their middle class and rich, white neighborhoods. Seriously. It’s infuriating. I would take the train into the city in a heartbeat if I had that option. I ride the bus now, but that still puts me on the highways causing my commute to be at least an hour each way. There are just too many people in too many cars here.

      • Do you have bus lanes? On wider roads, there are lanes here for buses only at certain times of the day, so they can overtake the cars. The idea is to make buses faster so more people use them- a virtuous spiral.

      • Nope. they can get in the HOV lanes and HOV lanes that have been converted to toll lanes. But there is nothing bus specific, so it doesn’t always help much.

  3. You have my sympathy. Atlanta traffic isn’t a cake walk on the best of days. I can relate to the lack of mass transit. Phoenix has the same problem. Sprawling city and no good way to get from A to B without a car.

    I’m not a northerner and lived the last 25 years in a place probably more ill-equipped to handle snow: Phoenix! We’d shrug our shoulders and wonder why other parts of the country withered when temps reached 100… that’s nothing! Last year, we relocated a bit farther north in Arizona and there are chances of snow, but (cross my fingers) it hasn’t been bad at all.

  4. It was funny up until the entire region piled up on the highway.
    Hopefully, those in charge will come up with a better plan for next time…

    And glad you’re ok!

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