This week Trifecta gave us these marching orders:
This week we are asking you to count syllables. And words. It’s a lot of math for those of us who might be more accustomed to dealing with words, but we’re confident you can pull it off.
We are asking for a 33-word response to the following snippet:
The first time I saw. . .
Here’s the catch: all of your 33 words must be one syllable each. We’re going low-brow on you this week. Or not. Can you class it up under these restrictions? Give us your best.
To clarify, we are giving you 5 words. We want another 33 from you, for a grand total of 38.
Here are my 38:
The first time I saw the sun my eyes stung.
Ten years in a hole.
Ten years in the dark.
My pale skin drank in the heat.
My soul sang, roused.
My heart beat.
More than fine, whole.
Stay positive & love your life!
-Melissa
Today:
Listening to: Tori Amos – A Sorta Fairytale
Eating: Seasnax- Seriously yummy. I can’t get enough.
Random thought: The best feeling in the world may be when your reality is better than your dreams.
Quick Stepp 
Now, you can’t live without that light.
Certainly not really “live”.
I like how you formatted this and used similar words for emphasis. The last 3 words are awesome. well done melissa
Thanks! Glad it came across the way I intended.
Very nicely written
Thanks Joe.
This packs a punch. It’s got rhythm, it’s got soul. I like it a lot. Thanks for linking up, Melissa!
Thanks for another fun challenge!
I could feel it as I read it – absorbed your light, even.
Thanks!
Made me think of Kaspar Hauser…
I was going for a dungeony feel, so thanks. 🙂
Hopeful piece – Really lovely lines.
Thanks so much Kelly. Hopeful was what I was going for…that and fulfilled.
It felt sad and dungeony! Until the light is seen. I like the look and feel of the formatting a lot as well as the word repetition.
Thanks a lot Gina!
Ten years in a hole – now that’s intriguing!
The light, as freedom! I feel your sense of jubilation and release! I, too, liked the structure of this piece. The repeating words and sentence structure lend a happy rhythm to what was, initially, a sombre piece. Well done, Melissa. 🙂
Thanks a lot! Glad you liked it.
Woah. I can only imagine the story that could come out from this snippet. Really intriguing and awesomely written.
Thanks! 🙂
Been there… not going back
Metaphorically speaking, neither am I! So many ways this can be taken. Thanks for reading.
warm words of hope. thanks for sharing, i enjoyed it. ☺
Thanks so much!
I, too, like the words playing off of each other: hole/whole heat/heartbeat. Captures the sense of release/possibility. Nicely done, Mel.
Thanks a lot! 😄
Great! Stay positive – what other message could we need? 🙂
Thank you! Yep, positivity is hugely important!
Very powerful
Thanks!
Great work.
Thanks a lot!
Gorgeous work, Mel!
Thanks!