Since it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted a nice, long rant, today felt like the time to break one out. Well, that and one of the items on this list occurred this morning on the way to work. Cue internal rant in my car! So I might as well pass the frustration on to you, dear readers. On my last You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? post, I merely scratched the surface! There are a plethora of pet peeves about which to bitch over many more posts! Today I bring you three particularly annoying gear grinders. Get ready to roll your eyes and shake your head with me!
Egregious spelling and grammar errors.
Yes, I know that I’m far from perfect, and I’m quite sure that when I look back on this post later, I’ll find several errors. You simply never catch everything when you self-edit. But every day, without fail, I see stuff on the internet that boggles the mind. How exactly does one make it out of elementary school without knowing how to spell basic words? In what grade is the use of an apostrophe taught? I don’t know if these people just didn’t pay attention, really are that stupid, or simply just don’t give a shit.
Look at this. Someone actually took the time to photoshop this gem. Oh wait, it was SwagtoStrong; yeah, I guess I’m not so shocked.
For the love of all things
holl y holy, please stop breathing.
That would involve quite a bit of hiding.
I want this book and I don’t. I would just sit and roll into a tight ball of anxiety.
Bottom line, I do judge you. Shit, I judge myself. But you likely really don’t care about the eye daggers I’m throwing your way, so it’s a moo point.
*A moo point is the point of a cow. It doesn’t matter; it’s moo.
People who back into parking spaces.
This is the morning occurrence that sent my rant stream a runnin’. I can’t handle these people. If you’re one of them, I ask you, why? Why are you such an ass clown that you feel it’s perfectly acceptable to cause the people lined up behind you to have to wait on you? Are you aware that you’re causing delays for others while you back in your ginormous SUV? No, of course you don’t, because you don’t give two shits about anyone else. What’s that? Oh, it makes it more convenient and quicker when you leave? Seriously, why do you need to leave in such a hurry anyway? You take two to three times as long to park to save yourself from backing out later. That makes total sense.
One of my first jobs was writing parking tickets on my college campus. It was such a jerky job and I did feel like an asshole on a daily basis. The only saving grace was that on our campus it was illegal to back into a spot. Boy, when I’d see a car parked like that, I’d almost sprint to write out the ticket.
This guy, whew.
So today is the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s In Utero album. If that doesn’t paint a stark contrast between music in the 90s and music today, I don’t know what does. Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of talented musicians releasing music every day, but there is also a lot more crap than ever before. This turd falls into the second category.
1. His name is stupid. I know, I know, his parents are to blame for that. But seriously, nice name Johnny Johnson.
2. He hasn’t a clue what HIS musical style is. He’s quite adept at ripping off Dave and Mumford and Sons, but I have zero clue what his deal is. The first time I heard his increably overplayed hit, I thought, “Hmmm. This Mumford and Sons song sounds a lot more commercial than their other stuff. Wait a second…”
3. I catch myself singing, “I’m gonna make this place my home. ohhh ohhh oh oh oh shit, not again.” That damn song is on at least 20 different commercials. They play it at my gym every single morning. I have my ipod to save me from hearing it there (seeing the video is offensive enough), but I can’t go an entire day and hope to completely escape it.
Here he is not caring about my opinion and cashing his American Family Insurance checks.
So there you have it. What do you think? Are you a backwards parker? Do you loose sleep over the spelling errors of other’s? See what I did there? Did you found the Phillip Phillips fan club? Let me hear it!
Stay positive & love your life!
Listening to: X Ambassadors – Litost
Eating: Veggie burger and lima beans. It’s seriously time to go to the grocery store.
Random fact: In Utero is my favorite Nirvana album. Also, I’ve never drunk pennyroyal tea. Yeah, I just looked up whether drunk or drank is the past participle of drink. Drunk is correct and drank is now considered acceptable. The more you know…..