Black-jack Shoe and an Insole Made of Chicken Eggs

Several months have passed since I hopped aboard this crazy little blog roller coaster, and I will fully admit, I’m hooked.  I look forward to my daily lunchtime writing ritual.  I love glancing down at the clock while in the midst of a spreadsheet or conference call and seeing I only have 30 minutes until my mid-day getaway.   It’s cathartic and fun and most importantly, it’s reminded me why I once loved to write.  I’m back in love people and I’ve fallen hard.

The most surprising thing to me about this experience has been how eager I am for feedback and how very much I appreciate it.  After taking the plunge and joining a weekly music blog-hop (Twisted Mixtape Tuesday at jenkehl.com) and diving headfirst back into fiction writing with the Trifecta Writing Challenge and the 100 Word Song at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog, I found a community full of really cool bloggers.  And my love for this blog writing format has just become fullblown infatuation.  You guys rock, big time.  I love reading your posts and I’m always stoked to see your likes and comments on mine.

So what does this have to do with this ridiculously titled post?  Well, on occasion I like to check in with our little Spam Ninja here at WordPress just to see what type of shenanigans he’s stopped in their tracks.  Normally I find a bunch of boring shenanigans; you know, the whole “your page is awesome but your SEO is limited by…blah, blah, blah”.  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate his help against these little spam bots, but my spam basket doesn’t make for interesting reading material.  Come on shenanigans, be more interesting.

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Say shenanigans one more time…..

I guess the universe heard my plea to be entertained, because when I checked my spam basket yesterday, I found two bits of deliciousness.

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This isn’t what I found.  This is a basket of white-trash “food” with spam in it.

Exhibit A

“The selection of shoe will pretty much depend on look and particular outfit. or chronic fatigue, just after drinking treated bottled water. You will request to determine this package includes the whole thing required.

Ballet flats are always a much needed for any period.”

I can’t argue with this.  It’s just sound advice.  I know every morning when I’m getting dressed, I think, “Hmmm now these red heels do go with this particular outfit, but I did drink that Vitamin water yesterday and I do feel awfully tired.  Maybe the black flats are a better choice.  But I haven’t even thought about the amount of walking I’ll be doing today given that whole firedrill thing that’s required at work.  Ballet Flats!  That’s it!”

Exhibit B

“After exposure on the many mistresses, your lover and Irene’s marital come to a finish. Muscles of the black-jack shoe or traditional Easter time colors, follow some rabbit and the main insole is a combination of chicken eggs.”

Wow, Matt certainly has some explaining to do.  Who the eff are these many mistresses and where is this Irene bitch?  She’s about to have bigger problems than her marriage coming to an end.  Wait, you lost me at the black-jack shoe and it’s muscles.  Do you mean casino muscle?  Like a pit boss?  I wouldn’t recommend they wear Easter time colors.  That’s not a great look; it smacks of southern evangelical preacher.  Stop, do not follow that rabbit!  Did you learn nothing from Alice’s experience?  And I’ll stick with Dr. Scholls.  Those chicken eggs insoles sound problematic especially on a hot summer day.

So bravo Spam Ninja.  You do fine work.  Thanks for saving me these gems before shoving them down the permanent garbage disposal.  These spam bots really know how to spin a tale!

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Here’s a real life picture of my Spam Ninja.  I wouldn’t recommend messing with him.

What’s the most interesting thing you’ve found in a spam filter?

Stay positive & love your life!

-Melissa

Today:

Listening to:  The Soft Pack – Saratoga

Eating:  Leftover tofu stirfry

Drinking:  H2O

Random fact:  I have mad ninja skills.  Unfortunately they only come out when I walk into a spider web.

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2 thoughts on “Black-jack Shoe and an Insole Made of Chicken Eggs

  1. I once used the “S” word in a comment reply on my blog and within the next 36 hours received almost a hundred “s” in my filter. It was like Beetlejuice, I said it and they appeared. But it was nothing as interesting as what you get!

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